The Three Musketeers - A Review


So T and I went to see The Three Musketeers on Friday night. Yes, I know it's bombing at the box office, but I have just two words that made it all worth while (at least for me)....Matthew MacFadyen. If those two didn't work, how about two more...Orlando Bloom? Luke Evans? Well then, how about the best two-worded surprise of the entire movie...James Corden! I knew James was in it, but I had no idea he would literally almost steal the entire movie away from Matthew!

But I'm jumping the gun here. As a child of the 80's, I have the "Brat Pack" running through my veins, so MY "Three Musketeers" is the '93 version with Kiefer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, Oliver Platt, and a very very young Chris O'Donnell. Not one single version (in my eyes) has topped it since (as an added bonus it was a Disney production...although I'm sure those boys got up to very un-Disney like behavior on set). So, this new version had a lot to live up to!

For those that follow my blog, my feelings for Matthew is not unknown, I absolutely adore him as a spy and as a Darcy! But it seems like his American film career has been nothing but bad guy roles and frankly I just don't like it! It's like watching his other two spy counterparts, Rupert Penry-Jones or Richard Armitage in bad guy roles! Not that they don't do it well, but when you've come to love them as the good guys, watching them go bad just doesn't work (and I don't want to hear about Lucas North's trip down the "darkside"...I haven't seen series 10 of Spooks yet, and I know it's a snowball's chance in hell, but I'm still waiting for his "just kidding" speech!).

Back on topic, This version of The Three Musketeers was absolutely brilliant! It was action-packed, fast-paced, beautifully shot, and in case you haven't gotten the point yet, filled with totally hot guys sword-fighting left and right! I just don't understand the movie-going public nowadays! So, if you get the chance, before it gets pulled, go and see it! Or at least buy it when it comes out on DVD! It definitely is worth it!

On a side note, we were also the only ones in our theater (which was nice, we could talk at normal volume if we wanted to, but we were so caught up in the movie we didn't do much talking). Everyone else was seeing Paranormal Activity 3. If it was anything like 1 & 2, I just don't get the appeal...they are stupid with approximately 3 scary moments that last all of 2 seconds and then you have to wait another 30 minutes for more action and you get a stupid ending...think Blair Witch indoors with less in-fighting. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE horror, but I haven't seen in a good horror movie probably since the original Nightmare On Elm Street (I still have Freddy Krueger nightmares upon occasion). The original black and white The Haunting is 100x more scary than any crap they put on the screens now. The original Exorcist, the original Amityville Horror, the original second Halloween, the original April Fools Day, those are scary movies (notice the use of the word "original" in each one of those movies - why must Hollywood insist on remaking everything 10-20 years on? It's never as good)! Gore doesn't bother me in the least either...I work in a Path lab, I see the real thing...so throwing guts around and tons of fake blood is just, well, fake, and gets no reaction, at least from me anyway...most times it just get laughs (hey Am...remember the fun we had watching the remake of My Bloody Valentine? People kept staring at us because we were laughing so much everytime someone would get it! Great times!).

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